Saturday, November 29, 2008

It's The most Wonderful Time Of The Year

So be careful of the message you send with the gifts you buy.
In an exclusive interview with utterpants, Mattel president Matthew Bousquette, reveals his mission to turn all little girls into talentless sluts with unusually large breasts

"Long legs, big tits, no brain, too much makeup and mute." That's how Barbie inventor Ruth Handler described the ideal American woman in 1959. "Our goal is to instill traditional American values in young girls." Anticipating the feminist movement by a decade, Handler went on to say, "American woman are becoming educated. It's all Hitler's fault. If it weren't for him, women would never have had to work. Look at me. I should be home baking cookies, but I'm running this company and taking a job away from a man who has a wife and children to support. Granted, I only earn twenty percent of what Elliot (Handler's husband and Mattel co-owner at the time) earns, but still. We have to do something or, my God, these girls will grow up to think they're equal to men. The Nazis made women work and we don't want to see a group of, what would you call them, um, Feminazis, that's it; we don’t want Feminazis to force women to work in the future. Women should be objects. That’s what we’re trying to teach."

Read the rest of the interview here

Friday, November 28, 2008

Buy Nothing Day

With the economic downturn and retail sales hitting rock bottom it looks like Santa is going to have a lot of time on his hands and can pay more attention to Mrs. Clause this Christmas.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Dream Interpretation

I was mountain biking in Moab Utah on this…

What a nightmare!

Monday, November 24, 2008

My Fall Sunday Training Rides

I keeps me from burning out.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Getting the Bad with the Good

Feels like: 31°F

Most days I get up, do my morning thing and head out to work knowing it’s good to be me because I get paid to play. But it took quitting my craft and working in a bike shop for a year and a half to realize how much fun it is working on people’s houses and the occasional commercial project. Today however was not one of those days; outside in the cold and wind and later snow flurries on a 30 foot ladder patching siding. Normally I’d turn down a job like this but with things the way they are I’ll do most anything that comes along within reason. But that doesn’t mean I won’t complain to myself all day long. The real problem is that I have to do jobs in order, like last week would have been great to be outside. Warm fall clear days, leaves still full of color, the paint would have dried in an hour. I can’t do that though when I’ve got a client that needs me at his bathroom renovation to push the electrical sub and then get it ready for the tile guy’s. I’m an fricking hero…a sore ageing fricking hero. Advil and a glass of red wine and I’ll be fine. Next week already looks better.

Friday, November 14, 2008

But the death of thousands of Iraqi children is cool with this guy

A South Carolina Roman Catholic priest has told his parishioners that they should refrain from receiving Holy Communion if they voted for Barack Obama. The Democratic president-elect supports abortion rights, and supporting him "constitutes material cooperation with intrinsic evil," the priest said.
The Rev. Jay Scott Newman said in a letter distributed Sunday to parishioners at St. Mary's Catholic Church in Greenville that they are putting their souls at risk if they take Holy Communion before doing penance for their vote.

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Virginia’s Blue State Status Revoked

On Friday the Democratic National Convention revoked Virginia’s “Blue State” ranking after it was learned that the majority of voters only voted for President Elect, Barack Obama’s white half. A DCN spokesperson said that “although the Electoral Collage will still recognize Virginia’s 13 electoral votes for Obama it will have to list Virginia as Purple indefinitely.” This is a shock to many voters that had celebrated what they thought was a clear sign that Virginia was on it’s way to finally separating itself from West Virginia, Virginia’s deeply red/neck sister state to the north. Also, the DNC is looking into possible “half voting” by North Carolina, “we should know something by the end of next week on the status of NC,” said the DNC spokesperson.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Hail Mary Pass

Now that the political chips have fallen and Barack Obama is President Elect and already at work assembling his teams the Republican consultants for John McCain are throwing Sarah Palin under the bus. It was said that as the short list for McCain’s running mate got shorter and weaker something needed to be done to give his run for office a lift and Palin was their answer. As she was brought out and introduced to the world as the possible next VP and a heart beat away from being the most powerful person on the face of the planet I knew this was the last nail in the coffin of the Republican Campaign. I’m no expert but I know a losing team when I see one and an old man with a beauty queen as a running mate will not win an election for the highest office in the land. So now the back peddling begins with laying the blame at the feet of Palin when again I know who’s at fault. John and his campaign organizers are solely responsible for the embarrassment brought upon his run for office and Palin played the game as best she could, followed their lead, jumping through the hoops they held before her and although completely unqualified, held up like a champ. Now it’s time for her to go back to Alaska and finish her term as Governor then fad into obscurity but I have the feeling that we’ll be seeing a lot of her in the future, hopefully not in politics but in the role she is destine to play, an anchor for Fox cable news… right next to Karl Rove.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Wait to Vote

The line at the high school where I vote was all the way to the parking lot and, just like when I was a student, I was able to sell three bags of weed.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Party in DC

Join me January 20th 2009 for a bicycle ride from Old Town Alexandria Virginia to Washington DC for the Inauguration of Barack Obama as President of the United States of America.