Monday, September 29, 2008

Bailout Bill Cockblocker

Hey Nancy, how about you shut the fuck up until we get this bill passed. Then you can say what ever you want about the ass puppet occupying the White House or the Republican pricks that inserted him as President then abandoned him when the shit hit the fan like a sacrificial lamb. Meanwhile Chaney the puppet master has conveniently been keeping a low profile like a good Vice President should. I guess he just doesn’t want to get in the way. So Nancy please, just keep your pie hole shut. Time will come soon enough.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Sunday, September 21, 2008

ING Direct Washington Crit

Sunday in DC

Today was a beautiful day to take my life into my hands and hop on 95 North to DC. I got a little later start than I wanted but at 9am traffic was behaving so good time was made and I was in the District and parked in an hour and a half but I know the return trip will more than bring back the time gains made on this trip up. I also got lucky with parking on Independence and 14th street which with a u-turn from this spot and a quick left would put me strait on 495 and the return mad dash to Richmond.
First up I got the bike dialed in and the backpack full of tasty treats and found my bearings then headed to “the mall” where I started to look for the ING Direct Washington Crit Race. I was told that it was to be held on a course around the Capitol building but as I rode it became clear to me that it was someplace else, so as I was looking around and planning my next move I conveniently rolled up on a DC cop sitting in his cruiser and ask if he’d heard anything about where it might be. He was nice enough to call into dispatch and informed me that it was next Sunday at 8am. I took this as being true since I didn’t look on line to be sure about the race, time or location and caulked it up as miss information given to me by a guy who was in the race. Should have bet on the racer because after excepting the cops answer and riding around to see the sites then stopping off at the White House to once again tell George W. Bush to go fuck himself I found the race as I was heading back to the car with 15 laps to go, which is the best part of the race anyway. But before I found the race I was able to take in all that DC has to offer.
I love riding around the memorials and monuments seeing all the different people and hearing languages from all over this small world. They have come to this city to see where democracy began and where a government peaceably changes hands when the people of this country so decide. I hope we get it right this time. Also citizens of this city come out to play among the statues and grand buildings, everything from football to foutbal, softball to kickball, running, riding and ultimate Frisbee. I sat and had my lunch while watching a competitive game of Ultimate and during their water break was asked if I’d like to join in, “thanks but it’s been 12 years since I’ve played and although I still have skills I just know I’ll blow out a knee.” They knew just the scenario as we’ve all seen it happen to someone while “cutting for the disc.”

As I got up to be on my way I looked down to find this; after all these years someone is still pissed off at Jane Fonda enough to make a patch and update the insult.

Next up was a visit to the White House to see my favorite dysfunctional first family and say hello to the lady across the street who for 28 years has been telling it like it is. I’ve seen her for many of those years and finally took the time to talk to her and put some cash in her hand. A true dedication to peace and nonviolent change, she told me how this administration has been the worst yet to her and how she often gets arrested. She’s our own American Ghandi.

One place I like to ride to is the park at the end of the Regan National Airport runway where, depending on the wind, planes are either taking off or landing. Great thing about this airport is that air traffic controllers refuse to include the name Regan when calling in air traffic; it’s referred to only as “National.” (that was a Cliff Claven moment)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Bad Ellsworth!

I have two bikes that I’m really excited to own and ride; one is a Surly 1x1 and the other is an Ellsworth Truth. No two bikes could be more different from one another and as it turns out so different to ride. The 1x1 is like a happy lumbering drunk that just wants to get where he’s going with out a lot of trouble or complications and the Ellsworth is a schizophrenic meth head that wants to get where he’s going yesterday and could care less if he hurts someone (me) along the way. Also, as most things, if one gets more attention the other gets jealous and acts out in some way. Well as all 3 of you that read this blog know I had recently been on a very special trip with the 1x1 and leading up to that trip had been spending a good amount of my riding time on said bike so there would soon be a price to pay in the form of learning how to ride the Ellsworth all over. Again going against better judgment I decided to do the Down Town Trail yesterday and give the new guy, Mike, in town a tour of the system. Earlier in the day I had been to the eye doctor and had a retinal scan so for the better part of the day I was trying to avoid focusing on anything at all due to the drops in my eyes to dilate my pupils for the scan, a big reason to not do this ride along with the fact that I hadn’t been on this bike or the DTT in about 5 weeks. Short story long, the neglected Ellsworth misbehaved and acted out first by getting a pinch flat 10 minutes after I got going but no worries because I use Stanes sealant in my tubeless and it fixed itself, then on a fast technical climb I buried the front wheel and endoed but landed on my feet and recovered nicely, but later and near the end of my ride it threw a temper tantrum on a washed out decent by rolling the front tire and tossed me to the ground, down a hill, landing on top of me, beating me as it and I slid down the hill until it tried to lose me by grabbing onto a tree with it’s saddle and seat post but I was able to hold on to some part of the frame and pull myself back up the hill and on to the trail where I attempted to inflate the tire but to no avail leaving me with only one option, to walk 3 miles to the car pushing the bike while holding the front wheel off the ground as to not damage the rim. This gave me time to have a good talk to the Truth and explain why I’d been paying so much attention to the 1x1 and that I couldn’t let this behavior go unpunished and that I was going to put it in “time out” by locking it to my car over night until it calmed down and had time to think about it’s actions. I'll buy it some new tires and things will be back to normal in no time.

Sunday, September 7, 2008


Professor X has been on a roll the last few days so I thought I give him some props since I’ve been using his material to get laughs all over the intertubes lately. Let’s start with this one shall we? Why, yes we shall, Palin keeping a kid with “down syndrome” is just like the US voting Bush in office for a second term. Then there’s my favorite one about how Michael Vick sent a statement from his jail cell that said if Sarah Palin would remove her lipstick he could line up a dog fight for the bitch. And it goes on with; Palin is a Caribou Barbie.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Dog Town World Championships

Bacon dog eating champions, Esteban Jukich and Gerardo Castro and podium girls Ashley and Tracy.

It’s important to debone the dogs prior to competition.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Race Report Part 2

It’s all starting to sink in now. The tingling in my hands that was due to the death grip on my handle bars, has been replaced with the normal feeling of power that comes from 30 years of grabbing onto tools, 2x4’s and supposedly immovable objects.
Photos are popping up allover flicker and I’ve lifted a few and have looked at just about all of then like I’m in therapy and under hypnosis trying to bring out some regressed memory of abuse only this was self inflicted and very enjoyable. It’s a pain you forget but I want to remember it so I’ve been running the slide shows of others photo sharing down loads.